Friday, 20 April 2012

The Mummy Tag Game

There is a Mummy Tag game being played on blogs. I have been tagged in a blogging meme by jenmum and asked to answer her questions. In turn, I have to carry on the chain by doing the following:

The rules:
1. Post the rules.
2. Answer the questions.
3. Create 5 new questions. (I have changed the number from 11 to 5)
4. Tag 5 people with the post.
5. Let them know you tagged them.

The following are questions which have been given to me to answer.
1. Do you consider yourself a yummy mummy?
I really hate these ridiculous labels which do not reflect the reality of a busy mum's life.

2. Why did you start blogging? And do you still do it for the same reason?
I started blogging to disseminate the message of feminist mothering and have stayed true to this reason.

3. What’s your biggest vice?
Eating too much curry.

4. What is your claim to fame?
I know Brian Paddick and Siobhan Benita. Both are standing in the London mayoral race.

5. What do you miss most about your pre-kids days?
To be honest, nothing.

6. Where in the world would you live if you had the choice?
London.

7. How many tattoos do you have?
Lol. At my age? None.

8. What time did you get up this morning?
9am because my daughter is on school holidays and I am on annual leave. It's a luxury to wake up this late.

9. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
'Woman in Black'- a real scary ghost movie it was.

10. What did you want to be when you were little?
A lawyer and I did study law.

11. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
Sigh! Never learnt to drive.

I have now got to tag some fellow bloggers. Here are some of those I enjoy reading.
1. Bicultural Mom
2. Lick the Fridge
3. Lulastic and the Hippyshake
4. Reluctant Mom
5. Jenmum

No one is under an obligation to continue the chain and this is just being done for fun but I would like to know their answers to my questions which are:

1. What is your hobby?
2. Who is your inspiration in life?
3. If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?
4. What is your favourite parent moment?
5. When did you last read a book and what was it?

Happy Tagging.
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Thursday, 19 April 2012

Come on Asma-think of the suffering children

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The Commercialisation of a Woman's Body Knows No Bounds

Since becoming a mother I have acquired this tendency towards cognitive empathy which is the ability to to put yourself into someone else's situation and imagine their thoughts and feelings. This surfaced again, actually it does almost on a daily basis, when I read about the poverty stricken women in India who are renting out their wombs to make money to keep their families going.

The commercialisation of a woman's body and babies knows no bounds but the heartache and suffering that goes with it carries no price. In fact, it is not even priceless because it is not costed into the pricing model for surrogacy.

Surrogacy firms in India run a service whereby poor Indian women from slums are recruited to be baby carriers to supply married couples, singles and unmarried couples who want to be parents.

This is how the service works. A man's sperm is sent to the US where women from the Ukraine or South America are on standby to donate eggs. The embryos are then flown to India because poor Indian women provide the cheapest wombs to rent. The Indian women are then kept in hostels run by the surrogacy clinics/agencies where they are looked after. To many poverty stricken mothers this is the first time that they would have had the simple comforts of a proper roof over their heads and decent food. This is what gets me as well. In a country where maternal care is poor private providers are able to exploit a deficit.

The clinics justify recruiting poor women because they can sell the business idea to them easily and 'educate the women and their families in a clean slate'. Such an imperialistic attitude belies any consideration for the baby carriers.

The concept of choice, as with so many women's issues, is illusory because their husbands earn about £130 ($110) or so a month and the clinic pays about 20 times more. That amount will keep a poor Indian family going for years. However, the women suffer public shame and stigma from carrying somebody else's baby. The Centre for Social Research in New Delhi reports that a high proportion of women are shunned by their families when they return. The report also found that many women had been forced into becoming surrogates by their husbands and were deeply unhappy with the situation. The clinic says that it is careful to not recruit any women who have been forced against their will but the evidence proves otherwise.

Providing babies in this way to service a global need for maternal provision is a caricature of the biological ability of women to reproduce. Firstly, the Indian women are no more than commodities because they may have no say in whether to become a surrogate or not, they are powerless to decide whom they would like to carry a baby for and their emotional wellbeing is immaterial to the economic process of childbearing. The politics of race is part of the equation too because, apparently, most requests are for white babies so the brown baby carrier is a vessel much like the way brown boxes are discarded when the contents are taken out.
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Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Is cooking an act of feminist mothering?



I am always struck at the dichotomy between the way feminism is practised in the developed countries and in non developed countries. What we in the former countries consider to be sometimes a pain in the neck chore is, instead, considered an 'Essentialism' of mothering for mothers in the latter countries. Cooking and sanitation are two examples but for the purposes of this blog post I will concentrate on cooking.

Save the Children has released a report called 'A Life Free From Hunger' which starkly lays out the statistics for hungry children. Nearly half a billion children's lives will be affected by malnutrition over the next 15 years if world leaders don't act to tackle hunger. Millions of lives, however according to the report, can be saved through teaching mothers about nutrition.

There is an army of volunteer health workers in Afghanistan who conduct cookery classes. Not for them the expensive Cordon Bleu classes that we in developed countries pay for nor the Nigella Lawson type cookery books which we get as presents. For the Afghan mums their cookery lessons consist of each mother bringing a nutritious ingredient such as carrots, rice, potatoes, egg, oil or salt which the health worker then combines together to produce a shared pot of healthy living meals. In this way, mums are learning how to stave off malnutrition.

The simplicity of this moves me because it demonstrates the purity of feminist mothering which is about doing the best for your child under all circumstances. While mothers in Afghanistan may have no notion of feminist mothering given the extreme patriarchal conditions they live under they still undertake the chores that mothers in developed countries do which begs the question is cooking an Essentialism of mothering?

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Saturday, 7 April 2012

CNN Contributor Erick Erickson: ‘I Kind Of Like The Idea That Women Aren’t Members Of The Masters’

CNN Contributor Erick Erickson: ‘I Kind Of Like The Idea That Women Aren’t Members Of The Masters’: pCNN contributor and conservative blogger Erick Erickson said he liked the idea of excluding women from The Masters golf tournament, saying, “I don’t want to be hanging out at some women’s event!” The Augusta National Golf Club, which hosts the tournament, has never admitted a woman as a member in its history, but its discriminatory [...]/p
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Friday, 6 April 2012

Good Friday Passiontide Central London

The first person Jesus spoke to after his resurrection was a woman, Mary Magdalene.
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Monday, 2 April 2012

Adrienne Rich-A Tribute


"My children cause me the most exquisite suffering of which I have any experience. It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness."

It is a sentence which blows open the myth of the Madonna Motherhood and exposes the emotional strife that afflicts mothers everywhere on a day to day basis. It is the opening sentence in Adrienne's book called 'Of Woman Born' and immediately powerfully encapsulates the experience of the dual sense of mothering. Adrian wrote the book in 1976 and put into words and set in context the patriarchy of motherhood.

She energised mums everywhere who felt it was a betrayal of their status as mothers to feel cross and downtrodden who, even now, are made to feel that it is their fault for feeling that way. Adrienne broke the unspoken of secret of motherhood by terming it as a patriarchal institution.

"...I try to distinguish between two meanings of motherhood, one superimposed on the other; the potential relationship of any woman to her powers of reproduction and to children; and the institution, which aims at ensuring that that potential-and all women-shall remain under male control."

No matter how many times I read this book I always find something that still stings me because of the potent relevance to contemporary times. sadly. In the chapter titled: 'The Domestication of Motherhood', Adrienne talks about how the mother-child relationship is the essential human relationship and, yet, violence is done to this fundamental human unit because the mother remains an object of 'mistrust, suspicion, misogyny..."

The mothers caught up in wars, the Arab Spring and in everyday gender violence will identify with this. However, women in safer countries will still recognise the patriarchal domination of motherhood as laid bare in the book. Has nothing changed? A little but not enough.

This blog post is a tribute to the woman who practically invented feminist mothering. Adrienne Rich died on 27 March 2012 from rheumatoid arthritis.
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